5 Dollar Wrestling
5 Dollar Wrestling can best be described as the pro wrestling equivalent of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Distributed by Highspots.com and hosted by stand-up comedian Marty DeRosa and professional wrestling sensation "Classic" Colt Cabana an, these two fine gentlemen commentate on wrestling so bad, that's it's glorious. Come join us on our journey to familiarize yourself with the glory and power that is 5 Dollar Wrestling. Summary Have you ever been to a really, really shitty indy show? Now, I'm not talking about CZW or (surprisingly) IWA Mid-South. I mean those really SHITTY indy shows where you're probably in better shape than half of the wrestlers on the roster. Yeah, that's 5 Dollar Wrestling in a nutshell. Based out of Mocksville, North Carolina (yes, that is actually the town name. Google it if you don't believe me), 5 Dollar Wrestling promises to delivered wrestling so bad that it's good, and by god do they deliver The Roster Freight Train Beyond a shadow of a doubt, he is what you think of when you think of 5 Dollar Wrestling. The 5 Dollar Wrestling Heavyweight Champion, Freight Train is the face and the representative of this blossoming promotion, and it's obvious that ever since he joined on with the promotion he has gotten to accomplish the following: *Get bookings in higher up and more legitimate promotions *Getting to go to the Dragon Gate USA show for WrestleMania weekend in Miami *'GETTING TO MEET FUCKING NEW JACK!' '' A game was recently started that established Freight Train as a man with massive connections called "Degrees of Freight Train", where just about anybody who's anybody can be traced back to Freight Train: even Kevin Bacon. Truly Freight Train is a God amongst men, and he is considered to be one of the Lords of the Synchtube kingdom (with Daniel Bryan as our king). Dyn-O-Mite Many would argue this man in the Rock to Freight Train's Stone Cold. Dyn-O-Mite always has the flashiest entrances, the flyest dance moves, and the illest mic skills, but this makes up for his lack of likeability (something Freight Train has in spades). But his lack of likeability doesn't affect his success, as the man is always seen coming out with a new title he's acquired in his travels around the great state of North Carolina. He was also once told by former member of Men on a Mission, Mo, that he needs to get his monkey ass in shape and work on his cardio. Some people think Dyn-O-Mite will eventually take the belt off of Freight Train, but only time will tell. As of this writing, though, Dyn-O-Mite does not have Freight Train's number, here's hoping he never does, as it would be a travesty to have this arrogant dick dethrone our lord and savior Freight Train. Raider Rock Many consider him to be the single-most underrated member of the 5 Dollar Wrestling roster and some feel perhaps he should be the champion as opposed to Freight Train. He has certainly been the most complex of characters in 5 Dollar Wrestlers, as he started from a total goof getting stiffed by the Sheik, then he went to the regular singlet and became America's champion, then he added facepaint to his look and he became perhaps one of the most deranged members of the roster, often chastising others for not being hardcore enough before thwacking himself in the head with his kendo stick. Despite this, we are yet to see him in an actual hardcore match, but given some of the people who've made appearances in 5 Dollar Wrestling, perhaps we'll see him in his element soon enough. The American Idiot The American Idiot claims to be a student of Raider Rock's, but some people would argue he's actually Raider Rock himself. Whatever you may believe, you have to admit the man has a lot of heart. He's still a rather new face to 5 Dollar Wrestling, so only time will tell if he'll live up to the expectations placed upon him being a trainee of the great Raider Rock. Dick Foley Dick Foley is a newcomer to 5 Dollar Wrestling, having made his debut on the "This Many" show against Rick Havok. He claims to be the cousin of pro wrestling legend Mick Foley and trained by the Hardy Boyz, but he was a dark horse in winning over the Synchtube with his Bing Bong Elbow and Foley-esque way of handling things. The man is also a decent promo and, while he's not the loveable oaf that Mick is, he does have a certain likeability to him. Kobra Kobra is another newcomer to 5 Dollar Wrestling, having made his debut on the "Rumble in a Rec Center" show. Not much is known about Kobra at the moment, but he had been mentioned a few times on past 5 Dollar Wrestling shows, namely when it pertains to Raider Rock. When we find out more about this 5 Dollar Enigma, we'll let you know. Jeff Hart Jeff Hart, aka Master of the Knee Punch, hasn't been a consistent member of the 5 Dollar Roster, but when he makes an appearance, he delights the synchtube with his extremely thick Canadian accent, random obscenities, and his unorthodox technical wizardry in the ring. He is 5 Dollar Wrestling's #1 heel, and one can only hope he gets a fair shot at Freight Train and his 5 Dollar Wrestling Championship. Sean Van Halen Sean Van Halen may or may not being a total stoner. He started off looking like he popped out of Ricky Morton's ass, then he cut his hair and stopped wearing shoes. He hasn't been on any shows as of late, but one has to think the Spaceward Warrior will come back from his home planet to do battle with the warriors of 5 Dollar Wrestling. Rolo Samoa Rolo Samoa, aka Samoan Taz, is an absolute beast in the ring who will not hesitate to fuck people's shit up. He's, pound for pound, the strongest member of the 5 Dollar Wrestling roster, as not even Raider Rock can sandbag a Rolo Samoa suplex. He hasn't been on 5 Dollar Wrestling in a while, but we can only hope the Samoan Suplex Machine didn't get shipped back to Samoa to deny us his glory and presence. "Mr. $7.50" Wildman Wolf The single-most baffling recruit of 5 Dollar Wrestling. What makes him a 5 Dollar Wrestling star? Is it his look? Well, taking a look at the picture next to this entry, it's CLEAR to see that that's a definite no. Maybe he's a shitty promo? No... that's not it either. Maybe he's an incredibly shitty wrestler? No... in fact, he's pretty good and has a swag entrance... HOW THE FUCK IS THIS GUY STILL GETTING BOOKED IN 5 DOLLAR WRESTLING?! Seriously, this guy should be getting bookings with Ring of Honor, CHIKARA, or even CWF Mid-Atlantic like Freight Train's been getting. If anybody can figure out how this guy is still getting bookings in 5 Dollar Wrestling and not bookings for bigger and better things, let me know. Storm Maverick When one thinks of Rookie sensations, one has to think of Storm Maverick. Storm Maverick, legitimately, made his debut in 5 Dollar Wrestling against Raider Rock and continues to wrestle with the company to this day. It's WAY too soon to tell where his career will go, but maybe the Man in Black will see the big $10 paydays in a few years time. It should also be noted that Storm Maverick makes his own entrance music, so like it or hate it, you know who to blame for the music. Category:Promotions You May Not Know